07.29.07 | Everything Lately
Posted in General at 8:47 pm by Amy
Well I haven’t blogged in such a long time I figured… Hey why not type about my feelings. Well, I guess my life started changing a year and half ago. I can’t really explain what happened but something deep inside me changed.
I have constantly been pondering myself for all the answers. I pray and I cry and I scream, and I do everything that I feel is the right the thing to do, and nothing seems to work for me. I have honestly been completely miserable for about 2 years.
People tell me that time heals all pain, but I feel that there are some things that time cannot replace. It is time for me to lay all this crap down and move on with my life. Whatever that means.
Tomorrow I have plans to quit smoking - number one goal. Next I have to get a serious workout. I have exactly about 3 weeks to break from school, so I am picking up some random vending jobs- because I need more money. I’m trying to save up for my next big move.
I have a few different options at where my life could go from here, but no diffinite plans so far. I could either move back to auburn where my mom and little brother and sister could move in with me so I can help them all out. I could move to Foley, AL, Savannah, GA, or last but diffenently not least I could move to California. All of these options are up for grabs. Oh I forgot one. I could move to Jacksonville, FL where my freinds live, but then I’d always be the third will. Anyway, my love life sucks, but that is alright with me. I know GOD has got a wild card up his sleeve, and I hope I play my hand well.
I’m thinking at this point that I sould just move to California, and be done with everyone here, but at some point I’ve got to quit running away. I need to stand face to face with the devil, and conquer what I can and let God conquer what I can’t handle.
Sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed that I swear I’m going to have an emotional break down, but I know the bible tells me that God will not put anything on me that I can’t handle. Well, I need to go to bed no one reads all this crap anyway. If you do you must be really bored or gay. kidding. Good night whomever slips upon this crazy blog.
From one voice in the void to another, on a dead blog, hi.
Go to Cali.
Don’t leave so much to God, find true strength in yourself. Take control, and shape your life the way you want it.
One day this ends, you might as well make it worth it.
I’ll have to agree with Mike. Whether God plays a part in your life or not, the only person that can truly change your life is you—and you alone.
As you know, I made the decision to step on a plane and leave for South Korea. Think about my situation. One decision can change your life in so many ways, and not necessarily bad ways.
Take advantage of all opportunities, you might not see them again.
“Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamp of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all.” ~ Ayn Rand
Keep this with you as you journey through life. Don’t let em’ take it from you.
From one Amy to another I just wanted to tell you that I believe that God gave you this life now he wants to see what you’ll make of it.
And I know from experience that all the pain and hard times are actually necessary and I hope this isn’t too trite - but will make you a stronger, deeper person.
Good luck.